I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
