hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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