i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Vodka?
Forever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
