Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
