Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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