no you cant smoke seaweed
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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