It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
