The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
