Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
