if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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