you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
