i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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