I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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