North Korea, Best Korea!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
