I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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