lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
