i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
