i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
