dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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