I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
