This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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