i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
