So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
