David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
