Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize