This is not my ceiling
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
