You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
