I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
