i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
