just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
