well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
