Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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