i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
