Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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