i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
