whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize