dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
