great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
