It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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