And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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