3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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