What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
