It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
