I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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