I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
