his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
