I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Randomize
