man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
