the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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