You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How does one acquire holy water?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
